


Please Step Inside My Soul

by SpectresWonderland



Category: Newsies - All Media Types, Newsies!: the Musical - Fierstein/Menken
Genre: Abuse, Abused Race, Alternate Universe - High School, Alternate Universe - Soulmates, Anxiety Attacks, Background Relationships, Bruises, Bulimia, Child Neglect, Gay Male Character, Homophobia, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, Internalized Homophobia, Multi, POV Multiple, Physical Abuse, Single Parents, Soulmate-Identifying Marks, WHY DO THEY SPELL CRUTCHIE LIKE THAT
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-07-18
Updated: 2018-10-19
Packaged: 2019-06-11 04:52:53
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 6
Words: 3,475
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15307905
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SpectresWonderland/pseuds/SpectresWonderland
Summary: Sean 'Spot' Conlon, was the new kid halfway through his sophomore year. Maybe he'd find his soulmate at this new school.He might not have to look much farther that the excitable, but anxious cheerleader that offered him to sit with his friend group.Antonio 'Racetrack' Higgins, a promising cheerleader is beginning to lose hope. He's seen the name 'Sean' on his wrist for as long as he can remember, but not one Sean has crossed his path...until now.~~~~~~~~~~An AU where you're soulmate's name appears on your wrist.TW for Abuse and Homophobia, I'll list individual triggers as they arise.Title is from Rainbow by Dodie





	1. I Was Brought Up In A Line

* * *

_RACE_

* * *

Nearly 15 minutes until the bell rang, Race sprinted into the school, just about soaking wet, and panting. His parents went out the evening before after... going off on him, and they hadn't returned yet, leaving him to walk through the rain to school. It wasn't an uncommon occurrence, his parents sometimes dissapeared for days at a time, so he wasn't too worried, it was a relief for him honestly. 

He slowed a little when he passed the main staircase. He glanced around the half-crowded building, taking in the sight of everybody. What caught his eyes though was a short, stocky boy, looking highly confused. His eyebrows were knitted together as he looked down at what Race guessed was a schedule. He must be new. Race pushed through the weaning crowd over to him. When he reached the boy, he offered a smile, "You look lost, ya' new here or somethin'?"

"Ye'h, 's my first day," The boy responded, "Where's room 263?"

Race thought for a moment before realizing, "Oh, that's Mr. Denton, looks like I gots a psych nerd on my hands," He chuckled, mostly to himself, Denton was usually the Creative Writing teacher, but he taught Psychology first and eighth period, "You's gonna keep goin' straight, 'ntil ya' reach that little output jus' down theh', should be on ya' right," He explained. In response, the boy nodded, "Thanks, m' name's Spot by the way."

Race snorted, " 'M Racetrack, but ya' can call me Race." While he was talking, he noticed the boy, now known as Spot, staring at his neck and chest area. He glanced down and that the collar of his olive turtleneck, tacky, he knew, had slipped down, revealing a deep reddish purple handprint that his father had left after a particularly rough night a few days back. He quickly tugged it up and gave the other kid a half hearted grin and quickly murmured out, "I'll see ya' around Spot," Before hurrying off.

* * *

_SPOT_

* * *

After his encounter with Race, Spot was genuinely worried for the kid. But he couldn't dwell on it too hard, he needed to focus on class. He found the classroom with two minutes to spare and sat in an empty seat near the back. He had taken psych in his old school and was curious about what this school was going to be like. Scrawled across the board was the word " _Soulmates_ " in black dry erase marker. He drew in a tired sigh and glanced down at his wrist. A whole sixteen years of life and he still hasn't found this 'Anthony' Guy. Not a topic he was over the moon about. 

When the late bell rang, a man, who Spot guessed was Mr. Denton, came into the classroom, closing the door behind him. He turned to the class and gave a warm smile, "Good Morning everybody, It's nice to see everybody in here today, welcome back Jess, glad you're feeling better," He greeted.  Spot looked around to see a girl, Jess, give a small wave. Her hair was a soft blonde with a streak of black, curly hair. For a while, he had been envious of people with that kind of soulmate mark, it being one of the more  _unique_ ones. Spot wished he had any of the others, but he wasn't born seeing black and white, he didn't get constant messages on his skin, no red string, not even a timer for God's sake, just  _Antonio_ . Spot hadn't realized he had slipped into his own mind until he was snapped out of it by the teacher's voice again, "Earth to Sean, Are you with us man?" He gave a small nod. "As I was saying, Welcome to Northwoods Mr.Conlon, and welcome to Psycology 1 where tody we'll be learning about," The teacher paused, making a drumroll on his desk, "Soulmates, everyone has one, some choose to find theirs, some don't, but today, lets learn about em'." Denton turned back to the board and erased the words on it, replacing it with five columns, "There are Five main soulmate indicators, Skin, Changed Vision, Shared Capabilities, Changed Physical Features, and Compasses," He explained, writing them each down as he went along, "And today I figured, since we have a new student, let's all go around and share which one you possess, you may opt out if you don't want to share however, Sean, would you like to go first?" He shrugged, "I have a name on my wrist, no clue who it is yet," he snorted. 

As the class the class moved on, it came to a boy, who Spot figured out's name was Davey, with straight-cut black hair and a streak of dirty blonde through it, "I have two soulmates actually, for one of them I have the hair," he began, motioning a hand towards his hair, "and for the other there's the string, and I've met both of them,"He smiled softly. As had most of his classmate, except for maybe one other, had met their soulmates. Lucky Bastards. 

* * *

_RACE_

* * *

 When he was on his way to lunch, Race nearly jumped out of his skin when he felt a hand come down gently on his shoulder. He whipped around to face whoever it was. Behind him was the new kid, Sean. "Jesus are you alright?" Spot asked out of concern. Race swallowed the new lump in his throat, "Firs' thing to know, don't do that," he explained, "Second thing to know, ye'h 'm fine, ya' just scared th' shit outta' me 's all."

Spot, now having removed his hand, smiled gently. " 'M sorry Race, I'll 'member that, but anyways, where are ya' headed?" 

"Oh, lunch actually, you should come sit with me n' my pals, getcha' some buddies 'ere, sound nice?"

Race grinned as Spot dipped his head, "Great, let's hurry on then!"

The two reached the cafeteria quickly. Race lead Spot through the lunchline and to his usual table.

He smiled at the other boys before motioning to Spot, "I've brought a new friend!" He told everybody. The rest of the boys collectively waved, greeting Spot with a mixture of:

"NIce to meet'cha."

"Yo."

"Sup." 

And a variety of others. One that Race noticed stood out was Davey's: "Oh, hey Sean." Sean? His real name was  _Sean?_ Race tugged down his right sweater sleeve, the one that covered his soulmate mark, the name  _Sean_ written on his wrist in gentle script. It was typically covered by concealer,  but he had been in too much of a rush this morning. "You two know eachotha'?" Race asked Davey, sitting down.

 Spot answered for him, "Ye'h, we had psych together this mornin'." 

After being introduced, everybody returned to their own conversations. 

Attempting to make it as nonchalant as possible, Race added a chuckle in with his next sentence,  hoping it didn't seem fake, "So you're real name's Sean, huh?"

"Uh-Huh, why's it matter?" 

Race stiffened "I-It don't matter, I was just curious."

_Jesus Christ stop stuttering._

"all...right? What's your's,  because 'Racetrack' sure as hell ain't."

The blonde opened his mouth to speak, but was swiftly cut off by the PA system buzzing on, and the secretary's voice calling out in her usual gravely voice, "Antonio Higgins to the front office, Antonio Higgins to the front office. 'Ooo's' a rose from his friends as Race slipped out of his seat. "That... would be it..." He sighed out, his heart beginning to pick up pace. When he was paged to the front office, that meant one thing. His parents were picking him up. And that was never a good thing.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you enjoyed!  
> I love writing about soulmates and I'm happy I decided on doing the variety, here's the full list btw:  
> -Jack x Crutchie x Davey (Red String {Davey x Jack} You have a patch of hair that matches your partner's {Davey x Crutchie} Whatever you write/Draw on your skin shows up on your partner's {Jack x Crutchie} )  
> -Sarah x Kath (Black and white until you kiss, they you see colours)  
> -Spot x Race (Names on wrists)  
>   
> Title is from Rainbow by Dodie  
> All titles are Dodie lyrics btw


	2. Someone's Gonna Get To Know The Better You

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Big old trigger warning for abuse mentions 
> 
> Be careful
> 
> ~.~.~.~.~.~.~  
> ~.~.~.~.~.~.~

* * *

_RACE_

* * *

Race's bedroom door slamming closed was one of the worst feelings he'd ever felt. His parents had pulled him out of school because they had found out that Race had stolen the first aid kit from under the sink.

They took it back from him and now Race was on the floor of his room, his lip cut and bleeding, and pain blossoming from every inch of his body. But now he had nothing to patch himself up with. 

 He winced as he tried to sit up, hauling himself up onto his mattress. His sweater was ripped and stained with blood at some places. He tugged it off and glanced down at his now bare torso. His ribs featured mixed bruises, both old and new, a cut went from his right shoulder blade to the bottom of his left pec.  _Damn._ There would be no way in hell he'd be able to hide the new marks, especially the yellowing bruise blossoming on his cheek and eye.

He racked his brain through every excuse he had.

Fell down the stairs?

No... He'd used that one too much 

Hit in the face by a baseball?

Nobody would believe that one.

Got into a fight?

Yeah,  _that_ would work.

Nobody in his friend group knew about his parent's abuse, he had always lied his way out of it. What worried him the most was when Spot had seen the hand mark on his throat and he hadn't even said anything. That... that was the most concerning part.

* * *

_SPOT_

* * *

The next morning, Spot combed the crowded hallways searching for Race. No luck. But when he turned into the bathroom, there he was, at the mirror, dabbing concealer onto a bad looking bruise on his face. Race saw Spot in the mirror and almost immediately turned around quickly, "Spot! Uh, h-hey!" He rushed out.

"What tha' hell happened to you?" Spot murmured, observing him closer. He could see the handprint again, but just faintly this time, his lip was busted too.

"I got into a fight, yesta'day," Race chuckled out awkwardly.

Spot huffed, "Where'd ya' go at lunch?"

Race hesitated at that, "Docta's 'ppointment, parents let me ditch afta'." Spot shrugged, "Just... get ta' class safe Racer, m'kay?"

"Yessir'," Race responded, tucking his concealer into his bag after finishing up with his face, "See ya' later Spot."  Spot watched in concern as Race walked off, limping slightly. Spot didn't buy it.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's so short I'm sorry


	3. How Are Your Lungs?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Davey's concerned and Race is being a bad boy.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TW: Abuse mentions, Self Harm, and smoking

* * *

_RACE_

* * *

Later in the day, Race sat in his biology class, bored to death, but his mind was flooded with anxiety. He had dance next class, which meant a short sleeves and shorts.  _Fuck._  He was absolutely  _fucked._

He was so deep in thought that he didn't notice the bell had rang until the others started getting up around him. He was out of time. Hell, he knew skipping the class was bad and he'd probably get himself into even more trouble, but the idea just seemed more enticing. If the bruises were to get seen by a teacher, it would land him in a shitload of trouble, with his parents this time. So obviously, he opted for skipping.

He had slipped into the bathroom, he was met with the usual punks, smoking in the bathroom, one of them turning to Race and offering for him to take a drag. Race declined with a slight laugh. The guy shrugged and turned around, leaving Race to slink into a stall. When he locked the door he sighed, hanging his bag on the door hook, closing the toilet lid and sitting. He pulled up his jacket sleeve to his elbow, seeing that the concealer on his soulmate mark was smudged, as was the concealer on his scars. Race drew in a shaky breath and pulled the sleeve down, resting his head in his hands for a moment before grabbing his phone out of his bag, swiping away notifications and scrolling through his instagram feed.

It barely seemed like any time had passed, but soon enough, the bell signalling the end of the period rang. So Race stood and made his way out, merging back into the newly crowded hallway. 

As he made his way down the hallway, Race heard his name get called and he went rigid, fearing that he'd gotten caught, but he looked back and saw Davey coming towards him, looking a bit concerned, "Tony what the  _hell,_ " 

 _Fuck._ Race forgot that he had gym with Davey.  _Shit Shit Shit ShIT._

"What do you mean?" Race asked, trying to sound oblivious, but his voice shook a little. Davey gave him the _oh,_ _bullshit_ look, "Antonio Higgins, we both know what I mean, why weren't you in gym?"

"I had to go to the office." He tried to explain.

David just snorted, "Why're you limping then?" 

"Listen, I've gotta get ta' class, see you at lunch Dave," he quickly answered, before worming his way through the crowd and to the next class. 

 

* * *

_DAVEY_

* * *

David wasn't buying anything. What  _really_ happened to Race. He was obviously hesitand to talk about it. Although, the principal excuse was likely, but, Race, believe it or not, rarely got into trouble, so that didn't quite work out.

Damnit.

That was all he could think about for the next few class periods. What. Happened. To. Race. He even took out a page of notebook paper in his algebra class and listed a few.

1\. Dance accident

2\. Fight

...

3\. Abuse

Shit... He didn't want to go up to Race and ask him,  _"Hey man, are your parents beating you?"_   But it would explain a ton of things, The bruises that constantly came and went, the long sleeves, the turtlenecks, and the limping. 

Davey didn't know what to do. Who would he bring it up to?

He raised his hand and asked to be excused. When he was out of the class he near-sprinted to the bathroom, whipping out his phone and pulling out his phone and texting Crutchie,

_"Hun, come to the math wing bathroom, I need to talk to someone, please."_

A response was insanely quick and before long, he heard the soft clicking of crutches on the school's tiled floor, and his boyfriend opened the door and poked his head in. He gave a sigh of relief and almost immediatly blurted out, "CharlieithinkRaceisbeingabused."

"Calm down darling, say it again?"

Davey drew in a shaky breath, getting more anxious, "I think Race's parents are hitting him Charlie."

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Im sorry this is so short my bois


	4. Will You Share Your Soul With Me?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TW for abuse mentions, restricted eating, Self harm Mentions

* * *

_CRUTCHIE_

* * *

_"What?!"_ Crutchie whispered-yelled, "That's... a bold accusation hun, what makes you say that?"

Crutchie watched his boyfriend as the taller boy bit his lip, "Have you looked closely at Race in a while?"

"No... not really," Crutchie murmured.

"Well, he's got bruises all over, I've seen them pop up everywhere,  h-he wears turtlenecks constantly, and he's limping today and tried to  _deny_ it, and... I'm just... terrified for him," Davey whined, anxiety bubbling in his chest.

"I... I think we should watch him for a little bit, see if anything gets worse, alright hun?"

Davey took a soft breath, "That sounds good...thanks Charlie."

* * *

_RACE_

* * *

By the time lunch rolled around, the painkillers Race had snuck that morning were wearing off, and he could feel dull aches slipping back in to every inch of his body. Unsure if the pain in his abdomen was from the previous day's beating, or simply hunger, as he hadn't eaten at all since yesterday, he just shrugged it off and slipped into his usual seat. Only a few of the guys were at the table, either opting out of eating like Race, or they had brought their own, the others were still in line. He noticed that Davey and Crutchie, who had both brought their own lunches, looked up as soon as Race sat down, they both smiled gently at him, before going back to eating. 

Race raised an eyebrow but shrugged and pulled his phone out. 

He nearly chucked it out of his hand when Spot sat next to him. "Je-Jesus fuck, Spot!" He gasped, throwing a hand over his chest. 

"I legit jus' sat down, you hidin' somethin' Racer?"

Race bit his lip,  he hated that accusation, having lived with a constant 'What are you hiding' for nearly 16 years. "I-Uh..." he began, "No-noth-thing."

Spot blinked in confusion, "Racer, you okay?"

His heart was beating so much faster now,  _shit shit shit,_ not now, not right here. Race opened his mouth to speak, but all that came out was a stuttered, jumbled mess of words. He squared his shoulders and shot up, nearly stumbling to the bathroom. 

* * *

_CRUTCHIE_

* * *

Crutchie watched him go, before hearing  Spot talk, "What did I  _do?"_

"Don't worry yourself too much Spot, he has anxiety, it happens alot, you just scared him 's all," He told Spot gently, standing up  and heading after his friend. 

He went to the restroom that was nearest to the cafeteria, guessing that was where he ran. Sure enough, when he entered, he heard choked off cries, definitely coming from Race. He knocked on the stall it was coming from, only to be met with a sudden squeak-whimper. 

"Racer, it's just me, Crutchie," he assured, "You're gonna be okay, 'm right out here buddy." 

After a while, when he heard Race's breathing calm down, he knocked again, "Can you open the door Racer?" A mumble of agreement came from the stall and the door slowly opened after being clicked unlocked. 

Crutchie took in Race's appearance, starting at his face, he must've been wearing concealer, because his face was blotched with red from crying revealing an unpleasant looking bruise, but as he moved down, his heart skipped a beat. At the base of his neck was a deep reddish-purple handprint. As soon as Race notice that Crutchie had seen, he tugged his shirt collar up, biting his lip, "Crutch...i-it's not what you thin-"

"Race... I... can I ask you a question?"


	5. There's A Yes In Your Head, Gotta Find Where It's At

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Oof sorry this is so delayed and short, I'll try and do better :/

* * *

_RACETRACK_

* * *

 

"Tony, What's going on at home?" Crutchie murmured. 

Race looked utterly terrified at the question, "Nothing Crutchie, everything's fine," he murmured, not meeting Crutchie's concerned gaze.

"Everything's not fine Racetrack, are...are your parents hurting you?"

The boy suddenly stiffened, "N-no, they ain't Crutchie."

"All those bruises say otherwise..." Crutchie pointed out. Race was royally fucked at this point in the situation. It took a few minutes but Race finally spoke, "Fine Crutch, they are... but y-you can't tell nobody, please?"

Race watched Crutchie as the shorter boy bit his lip, "If anything else bad happened, I have to, nobody wants to see you hurt Tony." Race gave a shaky nod in response, "Y-ye'h alright..."

 

* * *

_SPOT_

* * *

 Spot was noticeably worried for the rest of the day, still stressed he had done something wrong. 

After school, he came up to Race, careful to approach him his time. He came up in front of him, waving a little, "Hey Race," he smiled awkwardly. 

Race returned the smile, just as uncomfortable, about to speak before a black car rolled up, making his muscles go tense. He stuttered out a quick goodbye before leaving and getting in the car. 

Spot watched confusedly, that was...weird...


	6. Can You See The Panic Inside?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Major trigger warning in this chapter for abuse

* * *

_SPOT_

* * *

 

Race didn't come to school  again for almost a month after Spot saw him get into the car and he was extremely panicked. He asked around, with no result. But after that almost-a-month the panic settled, albeit met with the exact same amount of concern when he actually  _saw_ Race. 

     The blonde was on crutches, his left leg was wrapped up to his knee and his right wrist up to his elbow in casts when he came into the school, accompanied by what he guessed was his father. That's not what worried him most, it was the extremely scared expression he had and the mildly angry one his father wore.

     Race's father dropped him off after they walked in and left Race to get himself to class. Spot approached him slowly, "Hey Racer, what... what happened to you?"

     Surprised by the interaction, Race just about jumped out of his skin, "Oh h-hey," he murmured, and Spot noted that his voice was extremely raw, "I er...I got into an accident."

* * *

 

_RACE_

* * *

     Race knew that he was lying, he was forced to by his parents. Yeah, not an accident. It happened the day his parents picked him up, the day he last saw Spot. He remembered it all.

     He had gotten in a fight with his parents, much like any other day, but this one had escalated badly, and Race had decided to snap back at them, shouting at them in his own defense. 

     The last thing he remembered that day was lying at the bottom of the stairs as his parents slammed the front door behind them, pain searing through his whole body. 

     They did come back later however, and much to Race's disbelief, drove him to the hospital, but played it off like he had gotten into a car accident. 

     Race knew what he was hiding under his shirt and hoodie.

     "I er... I got into an accident," was the lie he was instructed to tell if anybody questioned. Spot offered a warm smile in response, "It's good that you're alright though."

       _Yeah. Right._

 

 

**Author's Note:**

> Comment suggestions!!!
> 
> I appreciate reviews, kudos, feedback and just general praise!
> 
> Thanks y'all ^.^


End file.
